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08/11/2014

Watching Constantine Makes Me Hate The Word "Bloody"

I don't quite understand why Americans think that every other word out of a Brit's mouth is "bloody". While watching the first two episodes of NBC's Constantine I felt like I had heard the word about a thousand times and my godness it made me hate it. Yes we do use the word "bloody" but it's not the only word in our vocabulary, I mean the English language came from England so I think it goes without saying that there are other words! I'd rather say "fucking" than "bloody" any day of the week and because of Constantine I probably won't be saying "bloody" for a while so I apologise in advance to everyone in my life for my cursing so much but you should really blame NBC, not me. Of course there is more to Constantine than the titular character saying "bloody", the show is based on DC's 'Hellblazer' comic book and don't worry I'm not going to pretend I know anything about it because I think real comic book fans will see through that instantly. In all honesty all I know about the comic book is that a Constantine movie that came out many moons ago starring Keanu Reeves but I don't actually remember all that much about it and I've been informed that I should keep it that way.


So I can't compare it to the comic books and I really don't think I should attempt to because I'd embarrass myself, but I can judge it as a piece of television and I suppose I can compare it to Supernatural. If you've seen any of my posts on here you'll know that I'm quite the Supernatural fan and I have attempted to find shows similar to it over the years just to have the Supernatural rush more than once a week. I wanted something that was original, would truly engage me and have me dwelling on an episode over the course of a week (the dwelling usually lasts more than a week). I wanted another show that would make me both laugh and cry probably multiple times within an episode. I wanted a show that would make me genuinely love the characters as Supernatural did. I know that you probably think I'm a bit pathetic right about now but I don't care, Supernatural has had my attention for a decade and no socialising with the outside world can beat that.



The only existing show that had gotten a slightly close to my Supernatural love was Grimm, but it was still no competition. It has a compelling storyline and although it is based on Grimm fairytales still manages to be highly original. Most of the characters are interesting, likeable and actually serve a purpose and aid the story (please note that I said most) but I don't find myself adoring them like I do with Supernatural. The main problem I have with Grimm is that after I've watched an episode I tend to forget about it until the next episode airs so clearly I'm not engaged. It's a fine show but I don't think I can truly love it so there's still hope for networks that their shows will worm their way into my affection, as of right now Constantine is on the track to get second place in my heart. Actually it's more accurate to say near my heart because my heart belongs to Supernatural. My friends would probably say Constantine hasn't earned a place in my heart because I don't have one. Because they're nice like that. And most of my friends don't exist.

John Constantine deals in the dark arts and the occult, even refers to himself as a master of it, is haunted from events that have occurred in his life but is given the duty of protecting humanity from the supernatural world that is rising up to consume it. If we replaced a word or two that sentence would sum up season one of Supernatural, and honestly that sentence itself sells me the show, of course I'm going to lap it up. It helps that although the character has a dark past he is still quite funny so the show has a good mix of humour and drama in the show so although it deals with heavy matters I can still have fun watching it. Supernatural elements in any show makes it instantly intriguing for me purely because anything can happen so hopefully Constantine will abuse that quite often. I want people dying constantly, have to mourn them and for them to come back to live. That's what I'm used to and I hope that Constantine can provide that. The first two couple of episodes are promising and the show may earn my affection at some point but there is still a long way to go.

For a start they need to give Manny and Chas more screen time, we need other characters in the show to care about. Both characters have managed to be fairly interesting in the limited screen time they've had but we need to explore more of their back story and their reasoning for aiding Constantine. The second thing they need to do is sort out the women in the show. Constantine is already onto it's second female lead in the space of two episodes and they just don't work, neither of them are compelling enough. Every time they came onto the screen I really wanted to fast forward because watching them felt like a waste of my time. It's a shame because I am a female and would love to see interesting female characters on the box but it rarely ever happens, and if they are going to be crappy females I'd rather the writers not try and force them in the show. Yes, that would make the show a sausage fest but at least they are watchable characters. The final thing the writers need to do is hang out with some British people so they can see that we don't constantly say "bloody", some of us do talk normally. We aren't all from Downtown Abbey or Danny Dyer movies, there is an in between so please just fix it.

Constantine could possibly reach the heights of Supernatural (for me anyway), it's more likely to do that than any other shows that are currently airing but it's still quite early in it's run. It could still fuck up and be a fucking mess (see, I didn't say "bloody") or it could be brilliant, only time will tell. Before signing off I will say that I am aware that the 'Hellblazer' comic were around before Supernatural and that Supernatural takes inspiration from it (Castiels clothing is essentially the same as Constantines) but I'm thinking of Constantine as a separate entity, so please don't flame me DC fan boys.

Live Long and Bloody (ahh shit) Blog!

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